dropdead

totally fall asleep right after i reach home. landed on the bed to a plane to dreamland. gosh... my brain is so tired. been busy and stressed up at work lately. too many new projects that has deadline due in a week. crazy ppl. lol

had a surprise bday celebration after work, uncle jang korean restaurant~! Dak-galbi, gosh, niceee.... but my cloths stinks after that T.T cuz its like a big hot plate that they fried instantly on our table. vege, meat, potato? apa rice cake and all sort,fried all with korean sause and added with ramen~~~~ i have to say, i loveee the ramen XD after 70 percent of the meal eaten, it was recommended to add fried rice. but urgh. dislike. will stick to ramen next time hahahz

change, what a easy word to be said. of cuz with the will , nothing is impossible. but damn, i am just too stubborn. hahahaz... feel so sorry to fatso. forgive me for being just a brat? but who knows, the greatest motivation to change is to dump or to be dump~ hahahahz but i never want that to be on the list,never.

change, that shall be it.

tomorrow la! hahahaz~~~

awake?

lol.. still awake at this wee hours. its been quite often i stayed up late. many things just happen at the same timeline, kindna hard to cope. but rawrrr~~~ glad things are getting better.

read a post at fb today, saying that Sagittarius will have terrible luck next year, everything is a disaster. aiks!!! i don't know.. it kindna dragged me down, maybe i should stop my plans? new plans here and there... zzz seriously i don't know which one to listen to. hahahaz~~

fatso gave me a youtube link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiyFbCByAWQ
commencement address by steve jobs. really inspiring, the conclusion i made, go through the hardship, take bold choices, rawr rawr rawr, one day things will just work out the way it is. lol.. connecting dots... dot dot dot . fingers crossed*

sot adi la at this hour. i think i don't plan to sleep and just go to work and dread myself out like nobody's business. oh... yea... today i think its bad luck day or something. everyone just want to find fault with me. maybe i'm just too tired. rawrrrrr... what am i saying....

what a post...

What a step! XD

Yeap, considering this as a big step in life. more like a stage of life. the day has come, i've graduated!! XD Could say this is really a great, happy, exciting, sienz, tired, painful day LOL

Graduating in kampar new hall is totally great, damn happy my whole family came with my grandparents, just regret din't snap more photos with them. its a total chaos when we came out from the hall, packed with ppl, have to adjust between friends and family, din't really get to snap photos with a lot of friend T^T huhuhu...

oh!!i almost drop my convo hat when i'm on the stage, yeap.. almost. luckily it din't!! the speech was quite boring, i wanted to sleep, but i was afraid to be caught on tape sleeping. hahaha~ awesomely gorgeous flower i got from my family, fatso, penny and gang friend. i get gifts from friends too! <3 a="a" all="all" and="and" are="are" artwork="artwork" awesome="awesome" bird="bird" book="book" card="card" convo.="convo." couldn="couldn" customize="customize" cute="cute" damn="damn" expect="expect" flower="flower" for="for" friends="friends" from="from" gaga="gaga" goddess="goddess" greatest="greatest" hahahaz="hahahaz" handmade="handmade" him="him" it="it" js="js" kamsahamida="kamsahamida" lady="lady" letter="letter" lulu="lulu" make="make" man.="man." mei="mei" my="my" p="p" really="really" rest="rest" s="s" san="san" senior="senior" snoopy.="snoopy." soft="soft" t="t" thank="thank" thanks="thanks" the="the" to="to" totally="totally" touching="touching" toy="toy" was="was" who="who" wishes="wishes" woonhoo="woonhoo" xddd="xddd">
Special thanks to sharon who dropped by. arggh~~ timing la.. damn rush, really so sorry couldn't make it to your convo. but really thanks for coming!!  love ya always! and that penny.. aiyorr.... we both no jodoh? how come we exchanged flowers without even meeting each other!? luckily we manage to catch up before you enter the hall...HAPPY GRADUATE oh!! thanks fatso for everyeverything <3 br="br">

i think i still haven't get enough sleep.. i want to go and sleep somemore.. more  more more... zzz
nah! just joking!!

This graduation shall be a be a big recognition and a boost for us all to be advance in the future.. HWAITING EVERYONE!

hiu i'm back!

i was reminded that i have a blog. hahaha.. its been really a long time since i've updates, i guess the job i'm having now is really dreading me out. the pay is ok, job scope is too much, aldo i did learn more things about purchase and delivery ordes. but argh~ after an outing with friends and talks of the jobs we're having now- i start to doubt my direction.

i want to be a web designer. i don't know how i come into that conclusion but its just like how i choose graphic design. i guess i don't dare to quit my job now and pursue cuz is know i have nothing. nothing to impress.

so till i gather enough time to improve my skills and build my my confidence, maybe one day i shall release that boom. (nah~ fireworks would be better XD)

happy day i suppose (:

today is a happy day, a lucky day, a friendly day, a lovely day <3

Accompanied while doing assignment last night, achieved the artwork i like, waking up having breakfast with parents, having them to accompany me to interview, talked to 2 really friendly interviewer, enjoyed choosing spectacles for dad, eating lunch at the awesome malay oasis food court, receiving a job offer, been asked for reconsideration from another company, out of no where get to go out with fatso, caught in the rain, meeting elders, discussion on what's best, and now, hoping for the best for you and me and everything around.

cheers everyone. love ya all!

Rebel

your daughter is an introvert,
don't like to social,
do everything also no confidence,
what also can't do well,
don't have the guts,
always look down at herself,

you have this kind of thoughts about me,
then shouldn't you have also known that

your daughter loves freedom,
gets very crazy socialize among friends,
has her own piece of mind,
creative ideas flowing in her head,
look at the mirror and started to doubt,

what job YOU prefer me to work,
and not, what job i would choose to love.

In the end, freedom-negative; forcing to grow up-overlimit

p/s: what i hate the most is when i started to put effort,you proclaim that i didn't do anything at all.
you should have known that your daughter is born to be a rebellion.

if one day

I don't know why i cry so hard for someone i have not become.
ppl teaching me how to be realistic
knowing about workspace politics
to step forward sometimes you have no choice but to step on others
i don't understand anything at all
am i still a kiddo?
maybe its time
to be someone i am not.

but still, the same phrase that comes into my head from time to time
如果说...越踏出世界一脚越不能保留住天真微笑,那从今以後我一个人过就很好
if one day I have to step into a world but i can't keep a sincere smile, then from that day onwards, i shall live my life alone.

time shrinks?

arrghh... not enough time? no. i have plenty of time.but i just don't make time. crap.
these days time seems to pass real quick. nothing much can be done in a day. but thank god i still can list out 1 thing useful i do each day, if not my life is a waste! arrgghh~~ but really- nothing much done.

went for facial this morning. freaking 3 and a half hour of facial, my face looks damn hideous and i bump into 2 of my secondary school mates on the way back home. a leng lui junior and cool senior. dead. so dead. i look so hideous with my fringe tied up too. arrrghhh i know i'm ugly and nobody wants to love me~ lalalala~~ ohyeeaahh.. blackjack XD

Skies we don't belong to

did i

what i hope for,
what i wish for,
what i envy for, 
what i gave for,

happiness, did i asked too much? or did i asked too little?

i guess i hoped too much,
i guess i wished upon the wrong star,
i guess i envy others love,
i guess i gave the wrong thing,


did i...?

gave in

I'm not sure whether its been a long time since i have sat for an exam or what. today's exam on artlaw and cyberlaw really gives be great tremble. Can't stop trembling during the exam, mind gone blank, the brain doesn't link to my hand. Rewrite the whole section a, end up not enough time to complete section b. dead meat or what? the worst will be what i've read did not come out, instead that pass year question that i abandoned, both came out in this freaking essay part. shit dao~ haihz. i give up.

naaah. i gave up until i've reach HOME only. my real home, the comfy of my home, the smell, the sunlight, the air, omg, i missed it so much. haihz, seldom go back there anymore, i guess there is not much chances in the future to do so. maybe i should take the effort to back more often. hmm.. just for the fresh air but not to pack my huge junk pile of stuffs XD

anyways, good things and bad things always balance i suppose? aldo i feel so bad about my exam, i get to enjoy a good nap at home, found my lost voucher, drank starbucks brought by dad, and gonna have cake later for xin's bday! yay~~~ XD sweet things really melt my heart but never melt my fats LOL cake cake cake, been looking forward to it since yesterday!!! rawr~ bring it to meeee~~

overwhelming insecurity

some things in life are so simply. a smile. a little phrase. a picture.
life is so complicated. and to that, simplicity itself could bring great things.
i don't need jewelry. i don't need high end places. i don't need fame.

all the want is-simplicity.

a paper.
a pen.
a life.

love is simple. A simple love.

haihz. damn emo today laaaaaaaaa.. ki siao adi

timeline

I have to say, i love timeline! lol~~~

scrolling scrolling ~ omg~ those memories..
why can't things be like last time?
naive nyaa~~
happy nyaa~~
just say and do whatever i like~
and still be liked for it XD

feel like slapping myself for the person i am now. *BIG TIGHT SLAP*
even so, things will never go back to where it used to be.

L.I.F.E

Slacking

Caption: Pic 1-Sleeping soundly

Pic 2 -huh? what?

Pic 3- OMG!!!

Pic 4-I'm so dead~

nice camera effects from google-webcam toy installed by coco liew XDDD

hahahahahahhahaha, i look ridiculous 

no no no

I've notice that whenever i write a list of things or schedule my time to do something, it will never be done! instead, not planning anything at all, just follow the flow of time, things will eventually get done. aiks. wae?! hahaha

anyway, i suddenly tot that if i can't write a list that i want to do, i might as well write a list of things i don't want to do?

things NOT to do

- turn into a biatch that has no looks and no brains
- becoming a disgraceful daughter and sister
- destroy my future like a broken compass
-  have too much sleeping habits
- over spending shopaholic
- letting myself down

fingers crossed XD

always missing

looking through my files trying to find inspiration for my web design. saw this old picture of me and my sis web cam-ing 3 years back when i was studying at kampar. hahahaz those day, sure are funny and makes me laugh like mad over headphones. i've notice i've always been missing the past. always recalling those good memories XD but even though i miss them like hell, i won't take one step forward to call them up. i will just continue missing them ohohohoho~~~ weirdo~ i like!

extreme sienzness

today really sienz die ah. go school sienz. surf net sienz, do assignment sienz, eat also sienz, drink also sienz, sleep also sienz! really no cure adi la!!! huge pile of stuffs to do, don't have a single mood to do at all. whole day sienz dao don't know like what adi. i let my imagination run wild. imagine if someone on the road offended me, i would bash him up like hell. but that also very sienz ah!!! someone please kill me, or i will kill you. but this also very sienz ah!! omg... why so sienz!!!!??!?!?! sienz die also sienz!

grudge on myself perhaps

i rewrite this post 3 times, and i just can't post it. i guess i have grudge on myself. lol
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggggggggghhh!!! hate you, hate me, hate my life.

v-day

Hahahahaz~ 1st time celebrate vday ... nah! celebrates every year with lots of chocolates XD but too bad, this year tak ada chocolates. aiks... damn sleepy today, stayed up the whole night rushing assignment. really have no idea i fell asleep during class.. i tot i was just resting my eyes *hahahaha* saw many lengluis in campus today. broadcasting girl's all pakat wear dress! really leng~ XD penny pretty lady with her elephant necklace XD she don't let me upload in fb. so i have no choice but to upload it here le. kekeke.. jodoh really playing jokes with us both. really very hard to meet each other this semester. 2 weeks once? this is not good. anyways, camwhore while we get the chance to XD


oh, this year's vday i celebrate alone. LOL~ i mean i din't celebrate with my family and friends. instead, celebrated with fatso. who? i don't know XD lets see if i can recall back who is fatso few years later when i look back at this post. keke. while we're so so so busy, i have to say, even tho its so simple, i'm really glad we get to meet up XD balentain chukha hae yo!

poor lo

One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip. Wanted to show him how poor someone can be. They spent time on the farm of a poor family. On the way home, dad asked, "Did you see how poor they are? What did you learn?".
Son said, "We have one dog, they have four, we have pool, they have rivers, we have lanterns at night, they have stars, we buy foods, they grow theirs, we have walls to protect us, they have friends, we have encyclopedias, they have Bible." Then they headed, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."


~~~ its been really a long time since i've blogged. LOL what was i doing all this while?! XDDD here's a passage that i've read many many years back, and it was shared on fb lately, reminding of the days where i always have to read my dad's email about all this philosophy's of life =.= yeap. its like attending lecture through mails. hahaha~ but really miss those days er.. lately keep seeing posts of appreciation, lack of time, ppl leaving..all this gave a knock on my head.

Am i appreciating life enough?

am i appreciating you enough?

am i appreciating myself enough?

oh dang.