Pathetic

Continue my last blog.. my birthday! this is how it goes.. my friend, Florence wrote her PM happy birthday Karyn.. And after that everyone in my class also wrote that as their PM. but sadly, i din't see it because i din't online my inactive_account00@msn.com (where i add all my classmates) Aldo so, they still wish me in school! very happy! Daniel and John Gan even wish me from afar..yelling! cuz that time is after class..i'm heading to block A and they yell from block B.. i can tell that, at the end only they remember that day was my birthday =_= but i wasn't happy enough. because someone i tot was the closest to me in Kampar, never wish me. because for the pass 2 days her mood wasn't that good because she have some problems with her bf. everytime when this happens, we won't talk. SAD! yea...i keep consoling myself that its ok that she din't wish me. no big deal. but still..i frown everytime i think of it. pathetic i should say. while taking the bus home, i can't stop thinking what will happen if i go back home? if i see sharon, is she going to wish me? sob the whole journey home. reach home, she was playing laptop. my eyes are still red so i just grab my towel and went to bath. After bathing, i just don't know...she came and talk to me.. but i cried even worst. so i went back into the toilet and change and ask whether she wanna go pasar malam with me or not? cuz...eventhought she did not wish me, all i want is to go out hang gai with her.. at least walk in pasar malam and buy some snacks to eat. but then she...i don't know. i tot that she is going to come along. when i off the light and leaving she doesn't seems following me. Then she tell me that she will meet me there. she will go with her bf and the gang. I was speechless so i just walk to Florance house to return back her umbrella and sobing really really terrible! maybe there is too many things inside of me that i wanna release all at that time.. its really painful...knowing that i'm not visible. after that we went for dinner, pasar malam..i tot coming home i will try talking to sharon. but....i got assignment to do, so i have to go.. after discussion, we head to the lake.. maybe i will feel better there..because...i really don't know what to say when i see sharon. things isn't going very well lately. Flo said wanna go yamcha when we are at the lake, so we cycle back to westlake lor.. when i pass by kar yee's house, i yell her name but no one answered. and then when i turn back to the front and continue cycling, a whole bunch of ppl yelling my name! singing birthday song. its Sharon and the gang. really surprised. din't thought that she will actually organised this for me.. and i was sad for nothing thinking that she don't even remember my birthday. in order to make the gang to celebrate with me, she have to help them out with their assignments.

telling the truth.. i haven even thank sharon. i mean..i did thank her.. but... i don't know...... we haven been talking for a week! last wednesday was my birthday. until now we haven talk about it yet. how sad is that? even meeting each otehr in school. we barely walk to each other and chat anymore. maybe its because we are busying on our own individual things? the gap between us really really widen. i don't know what to say. its been like this all along. i can't help her when she has a problem. because according to her, i'm always blurr..can't give advise. so she never tell me her problems. i really hope that things will go well.. i don't want to end up we beccoming strangers.. aldo thats what it seems now...i facing my pc.. she facing her laptop.. no talking...this is how it is.. PATHETIC